Q: After a break up what do you think is a good amount of time to start dating again?

I’ve heard so many things such as “well when you know; you know” or “could be 2 weeks, 2 months, 2 years” and I was thinking about how when you broke up in high school and your ex would move on in a week. I was as just wondering if anyone else knew when the right time was ?

A: After 3pm?… 　 …

In reality depends on what you want to call dating.. Going out, having fun, or trying to.. Next day.. Yes, you’re entitled to feel sad, yes you’re entitled “not to be happy about the breakup”, but at the same time you have the right to move on (regardless if you were the one who initiated the breakup or the one who suffer it). 

 

If you are looking to start a serious relationship, give yourself some time… Rushing into a new relationship is one of the biggest mistakes that we all can make (yes I have done it in the past, multiple times, and that’s how I learned). We need to give ourselves time to heal, time to find out what we really want in the new relationship, time to truly learn what we do not want in a new relationship, and then time to find it..

 

And let’s also remember that this applies to both, #men and #women equally. While the recovery time may be different for each person, the reality is that some men or women may not understand that they need time to heal before they start a new relationship (or risk continuing the short cycle of meeting-dating-falling in love-becoming possesive-breaking up). We all change continuously and what was important for us in a relationship a month ago or a year ago may not be the same thing that it is important today.

 

Give yourself time to find out who you are and what do you want in a new relationship before you jump into another one.  At the same time, go out with your friends, meet people, have adventures, and have some fun. Even if you don’t think that you’re ready, moving on requires action, and you are the only one who can do something about it.

 

Don’t force yourself to be “happy”, don’t try to be “ready”, just put yourself out-there, be honest, and you may realize that there are plenty of people in the same stage of their lives that will accept you as you are, that will not ask you for any commitments that you’re  not willing (or ready to do), but that are willing to walk with you this portion of the road. It may be one dance, one night, one week, one month, or one lifetime. You won’t know until you try.

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